Before we dive in, let me first start off by stating: building habits is hard! Yes, those Youtubers and Instagramers have been lying to us. I can tell you from the trenches that some days you stick to your habits, and some days you'll be lucky to put on a pair of pants. Acceptance is essential in order to not lose your motivation along the way.
The start—thinking ahead
Like a book, I'd like to share this habit-forming approach in three parts starting off with the beginning.
Trying to start with new habits can be tough but one key to succeeding is to plan. Sit with yourself and ask what habit you are trying to form, and more importantly why. If your answer to “why?” is extrinsically motivated — because everyone else exercises, I should too — look instead for those intrinsic motivations.
What are the traits and characteristics that you want to develop? What future investments do you want to make in yourself? Be honest. The more personal to you and the more meaning that building this habit will have, the more likely you will be to start it and stick with it.
Here are the habits that I am looking to build at the moment, and the why:
Meditate (and breathing exercises) — because I want to start off the day focusing internally and collecting thoughts before the world wakes up
Exercise and stretch — because I have always felt better throughout the day when I do something active first-thing and I am becoming more and more conscious of my personal health.
Learn Spanish — despite being in Spain for years, my experience with learning has always been choppy at best and I'd like to change that to be far more confident in the language.
Read — I do find it a struggle to sit and read but when I do read I love the things that I learn and I value good storytelling, which I'd also like to improve.
So, don't just wake up one day and think "I'm gonna do 20 press-ups each day". Plan it out. Take note of what habits you'd like to form, and take a look at your typical week. How can you design your calendar to make your habits a part of your overall routine?
Making this mental, and physical, space to do your habits reduces future barriers.
The middle—doing the work
So, you've planned which habits you'd like to form and are getting started on forming them. Similar to the preparation work you did to decide on which habits to form, the prep work to support actually doing them can also help — a lot.
Instead of simply crawling into bed and hoping that I stick to my habits when I wake up in the morning, I have created some systems to help out.
Use technology to distract you in a good way
I have made many attempts at finding the best home screen and notifications setup to help keep me focused on the things that matter, and this is my current version.
I use TickTick to state which habits I'd like to track and use their widget on my home screen to act as a constant reminder of the things that I am aspiring to do each day.
I also set my alarm to always go off at the same time during the week, which right now is right around sunrise. This is a perfect way to wake up (especially if you like to follow circadian rhythms).
Another trick which has been working wonders is to leave my phone out of the room at night. I leave it upstairs in the office so that by the time I walk up to cancel the alarm, I am out of bed and awake. This makes it far less likely that I will crawl back into bed for that dangerous "snooze".
Once awake, I have also triggered my phone to hit me with some blocking notifications at the time when I should be starting that habit. This helps to prevent going off-course and down the rabbit hole of social media or news-reading first thing in the morning — which is a terrible way to start any day.
Physical cues
In addition to my digital reminders, I have started to leave my future self little Post-it notes.
Whilst it's nice to use technology to work automatically in the background to support your habits, the automatic part can become a failing and sometimes you may find yourself suffering banner blindness to the things you have set up.
Each night as I am placing my phone upstairs, I'll take a pen and a Post-it from my desk and write down the habits I'd like to do in the morning. I can also use this to capture any One Big Thing for that day that would benefit from a reminder.
This deliberate and physical activity helps it to stick more and makes it feel more like a contract with myself.
It also feels great when you score them all out and get to scrunch up that Post-it as a symbol of sticking to building good habits. Win!
Going one step further, if that next day I want to head out for a ride on the bike, I'll always leave out my clothes in the morning and prep water bottles and breakfast. This way, there are no excuses when waking up.
Wandering around in the morning sleepy and half-glazed trying to organise yourself is quite challenging I have learned.
The end—reflecting
So you've done it! You've figured out what habits you'd like to build and set up some systems to support them. You've reduced barriers and now find yourself effortlessly checking off those meaningful moments of your day where you are investing in your future self.
Depending on which habits you are looking to form, this can be a long road and it can be discouraging to not see or feel results more immediately. Has anyone noticed how impatient we are all becoming?
This is why adding a routine, or spontaneous check-in can help. Look back at your habit journey and take stock of what's working and what's not.
Are there some which you are finding easier to stick to? Are there some which you want to build on?
Looking back as a reminder of the path you have travelled should act as inspiration for the path ahead. It can also be a great chance to acknowledge if you need to change course with anything. That's not failing — that's learning.
I use a couple of tools to do this. For example, in TickTick I can easily see which habits I have been sticking to and which I haven't. This is an interesting, and honest, reflection on how things are really going.
For Spanish, on the days that I am learning, I like to write down new words or phrases in a diary on the day that I learned or practised them. This gives me a physical record and something to look back on and refresh.
In the end, each of our habits are unique to us and there is no perfect way to stick to them. I have just found that this approach has been working for me.
Checklist
Plan your habits — honestly
Attach personal meaning to them
Make space for them in your day-to-day
Use your devices to work for you, not against you
Set up your habit space for success
Reflect on your progress often as a motivator
Powering this week’s thoughts
Music plays such an important role when I am thinking, working, and reflecting. I also find it interesting to see what others are listening to. It's a gateway into an aspect of their personality. That's why I'd like to share, with each article, an artist or playlist that I have been listening to that week. Here's this weeks: